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Malamute Superheroes
Digger Mal - Digs holes faster than a speeding bullet to liberate bones, grubs and flowers.
Hairball Hurricane - Baffles and blinds its adversaries with a cloud of hair as it makes its escape. Especially powerful at the change of seasons.
Shadow Mal - Protects its owners by shadowing their every move, from the backyard to the bathroom (shower and all).
Valor Mal - Fearless all-powerful creature afraid of nothing - except its periodic baths.
Muddy Paw Mal - The dirtiest paws in the west.
The Slobernator - Protects its owners and toys with a wet sloppy kiss guaranteed to fend off all danger. |
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The Howler - Strikes fear into the hearts of potential prowlers and trespassers with an intimidating array of woofs & howls.
NapaMal - The ability to sleep at the drop of a hat and so lull potential villains into a false sense of security
The Wolf - A food grubbing, couch loving mal-potatoes until you take her camping... becomes an aloof and majestic timber wolf untainted by the demands of man, a wolf who can't see you, hear you or seem to remember her name
No Luv4U - Mal - Lies in wait until the festivities become heated and then materialized from thin air, strategically placing himself between the loving couple, and lies down effectively killing the mood. Once the mood has passed, he surveys the territory like Superman and magically disappears. Leaving all in his wake aware that even if you don't see me, I see you. |
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Things that would be different at the North Pole if Santa had Malamutes instead of Reindeer.
Santas sleigh falls off the roof (Malamutes are not the most agile) Danger of yellow icicles Santas sleigh gets lost over the ocean because of visibility problems due to excessive shedding. Santa last seen chasing sled as it goes over the hillside chasing squirrels Dashing through the snow takes on a whole new meaning Brawl breaks out over the cookies left out for Santa Malamutes redecorate the Christmas Tree You can hear the howl of Santas sleigh coming Concept of sleigh team goes out the window when theres food involved
Cats seem to be getting a high percentage of coal this year
Its Christmas morning and you find a giant rawhide wedged in the chimney Santas deliveries take 4 times as long because of numerous detours to chase Squirrels, birds, rabbits, etc Santa permanently loses access to his easy chair Minimum size standards implemented for Elves, too small and there considered lunch Budgeting for hazard pay for those trips to the tropics |
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Couch ... .Doggie Bed Blanket .. Slobber catcher Refrigerator The Promised land Toilet .. Water Bowl Telephone ..Something to bark at Thunder .. End of the World Critters .... Lunch |
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Rug . Toilet paper Vacuum Monster T.V. Remote .. Chew toy Car ... Monster on Wheels Summer Hibernation Season Winter . Vacation |
